COVID changed my life.

 When COVID19 emerged I was an healthcare employee. My team and I were caught in this strange limbo because we were not working in a hospital but rather a private practice, a non for profit. Working in a clinic, we didn't have hospital beds to deal with so, the patients we would see were ambulatory. We had an influx of people coming in with respiratory issues and, because we did not know what we were dealing with, we had to shut down the clinic. So, we set up a 'camp' in the parking lot and started 'treating' people outdoors. It was an interesting year of working in a parking lot and of driving to work while everyone was fearing for their lives. We didn't have a choice. We did, actually, we always do have an option but I am an healthcare worker and it is my duty to help people so, I didn't give myself a choice.

Anyhow, what the pandemic did to me had nothing to do with the virus itself but with the people. I am the kind of person who tries to live in line with his values. I liek to think of myself as a good person. I never in my life have hurt anyone on purpose. And when I say never I mean never. I am not saying I never hurt anyone. I have hurt a lot of people with wither negligence or the deciduous stupidity that comes with youth but never in my life I saw options in front of me and  choose the one that would damage someone else. That being said, things changed in 2020. 

I have witnessed a different world that I was used to see. We were deemed essential, when they needed us, then as the company (Sutter Health) lost money during the pandemic we heard of people being let go. My team and I weren't but others were. That makes sense though, when an organism needs to stay alive it gets rid of anything it can, even a limb, I understand that but, I was expecting a little more loyalty toward the people who kept you afloat during these hard times. Healthcare in the US is a business and it is really obvious when things like these happen. Our CEO brought home 7 millions that year while employees were laid off. I lost respect for this company. I now understand all the people I have seen abusing loopholes and making the most out of their job to the expenses of the company.

People, we are just shit. We had people physically push past us to get into the clinic, a mostly empty clinic, because they demanded to see their doctor. Those very same people, symptomatic, had to come back out once they realized there was no way to get to their doctor and, nothing was done to them. They were not helr responsible for endangering other people's lives by potentially infect the people inside the clinic with whatever they had. Nothing. We were trampled over and no one did anything to protect us. Now, I understand fear, I do, but we weren't yet at a point where people had to act like that. That was pure entitlement. 

Then, we slowly re-opened our clinic but you had to be screened to come in. You couldn't enter if you had any respiratory symptoms as it could have been COVID. People did not care, so many pushed through and risked to infect us for their own entitlement. It disgusted me. You had to be there to understand what it felt like. These people felt as they were better than others. They were more important, more valuable. They would scream at us and cry to get seen for a back pain they had for 'few years'. I live in an affluent area of the SF Bay, people here are educated, they are not stupid. They knew what they were doing. These are the people who cut in front of you in lines. Who steal your parking spot. Who key your car just for fun. I now see the world under a different light.

Needless to say, I have changed. I used to put other people first. Now, in the past 2 years that has changed and if feels great. I know everyone must have gone through experiences like these to become such shits, I understand and sympathize; I am just surprised it took 40 years  and a pandemic to break me. Congratulations! There is one more piece of shit in this world!